Random thoughts…

A three-day weekend with no sessions… very odd, felt weird, and I admit… wonderful.  I got to sleep in 3 days in a row, yes my husband is so sweet for giving up  his sleep-in day for me.  I barely slept from October- December, so I’m enjoying catching up!  So having no session to blog, and having a little more time for my brain to think about things other than editing, I find myself having random thoughts.  I know no one really cares about my random thoughts, and as soon as I start my new personal blog I’ll post them there, where only my closest people will be forced  to read them lol, but I want to document them somewhere so I remember.  (And by the way, I found a site where you can publish your blog, which is why I’m starting a personal blog, so that my kids will have it in a book for years to come!)  Well anyway,  feel free to skip this post.

So anywho, I was thinking of a friend today, who had some free time while all of her kids were in school, and I was so jealous.  I sometimes dream of the days when all of my kids will be in school and I can actually do a load of laundry without Felicity getting into something dangerous, when I can edit sessions and place orders during the day and have my evenings free, when I can keep a more organized home, when I can do more sessions during the week and free up my weekends, etc.  Then a minute later I got tears in my eyes thinking of my babies being gone all day.  I wanted for so long to be a mom, to be pregnant, to have babies… and it’s passing SO fast!  I know that when I’m finally home alone, as much as I sometimes long for it when my house is chaos, that I will be so very sad and nostalgic.  I sometimes have to look at their little faces and remind myself not to rush them out, not to be thinking of the future so much that I forget to cherish every moment, to remember how MANY years I will have without little ones at home.  I tell my kids “don’t rush away your childhood, you don’t need a training bra yet- you’ll hate them later, you don’t want to grow up, it’s hard, there’s plenty of time for everything you want to do later!”  I need to listen to myself.

So today I kept my PJs on all day (even when I drove the bigger kids to school), laid on the couch snuggling my little girls for a long time, played outside with them, made them lunch and talked little girl talk with them, how I love them and their wonderful outlook on life.  I have over 3 1/2 more years until my youngest goes to Kindergarten, over 3.5 years that I will have to keep my business part-time, work from 8pm-1am alot, say no to coffee dates or workshops during the week that don’t include kids, etc… but I have 16 more years of parenting (more than that really, trust me when I say it doesn’t end at 18 at all!), so I am so thankful that I can spend 3.5  more years at home with my kids all day, doing whatever we want, enjoying something that we will never have again.  Sure there are times I feel smothered, like I can’t think a thought or use the bathroom or shower, overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a working SAHM, missing the adult interactions of an office, but then I think of all of the wonderful, amazing things that I’ve experienced during my tenure of being a SAHM (9 years & counting) and I am so thankful for this charge.

Ok well I had a few other random thoughts this week, but my first one kind of consumed my post (oops), so I’ll just put anyone reading this out of their misery.  My picture for this post is of my 3 year old Kennedy (she’s on the far right) and three other adorable almost-four-year-olds.  A couple of friends & I are having a cute,  small birthday party for these four sweet girls.  They are all turning 4 in a few weeks.  We did a little photo shoot for their invitations.  I can’t believe my Kennedy will be 4, that means I can’t call her a toddler anymore right?  Ok, I wont start yet another sappy monologue…

Photo courtesy of Rashmi Pappu and the outfits on far left and right are from naartjie